Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas at XL

It was a different Christmas this year. On the 24th found myself in Rourkela where I discovered the makings of a consultant in me. Stayed as OCL's guest and went around RSP asking uncomfortable questions. The good part of the whole thing was that I got to visit another steel plant. There is something fascinating about steel plants, or rather huge machinery anywhere. Makes you feel so small, at the same time makes you wonder at the human intellect that has developed and designed these huge giants to do their bidding. Another good part, found that though I was a bit rusty, my knowledge of metallurgical processes has been retained.

So coming back to the good parts, spent the Christmas sleeping in late. Doing nothing interesting apart from worrying about the upcoming OCD term paper submission. 6th term and still worrying....well you need to in order to avoid an I. An I means an end to all your dreams and aspirations, you are deemed not to have completed the course.

Today Mercer has come down to campus for the Laterals. I miss out by a few days. Should have left in the first week of June, would have made 18 months. Always happens with me......anyway no point crying over what has happened....keeping a stiff upper lip and waiting and hoping for the best....

HRIS paper is on 9th Jan, damned....was planning to go to Bangalore for Celia's wedding and return on the 8th.....there should be a law against exams at the wrong time....

ya I am going around in circles again, was talking about Christmas, a long drive to V's place brought the Christmas spirit home. Good food, good time.....came back to a sumptuous spread in the mess....

Actually have been thinking a lot....about what MBA means to me.....what have I gained....actually MBA has helped me discover myself.....I know what I will bring to any organization.....I know the real person behind the mask that I project to be me....I know though my achievements have been modest, behind that there always has been me...the under confident lazy dreamer........but I know that more than anything I stand at the threshold of life....I take greater pleasure in being the Kingmaker than be the King....that is my confession for the year....wishing you all a Merry Christmas and an even better and Happier New Year....

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Movie I watched

Caught up with some great movies over the break. The last long break that I shall have. Loved the scent of a woman the most. It stars Al Pacino, Chris O'Donnell, James Rebhorn, Gabrielle Anwar, and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Al Pacino won the won the Academy Award for Best Actor and the movie was nominated for Best Director, Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay. It deserved to be. And Al Pacino has woven his magic in his style and brought out some fundamental questions on ones principles, on integrity, on courage, on leadership. Wonder how many of us will measure up to that standard of leadership and integrity that Charlie Simms set.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

My animal personality

What Is Your Animal Personality?


Well I am a Puma....Growl.....

Thursday, November 22, 2007

100 days

I don't know if there are regular readers of this blog other than myself....well for those who have been following my life through this today is a marks that there are only 100 more days left till I bid goodbye to XL life.... dream where there was more learning outside the classroom than where I made some amazing where some Profs where walking Gods of the subject and some who.....well rather not say it....dunno who must be reading this....

On the subject of passing out.....2008 also marks a year when a lot of people are getting married...actually starts with my cousin in Dec 2007, then it is Lady C in Jan, the PS and Nid in March....Amul baby is also around as soon as we graduate....well looks like its raining marriages....

Friday, November 16, 2007

I adopt a puppy....

Following Daffodils' suggestion I decided to adopt this cute little pup....albeit virtually till I can convince Sucho that I need a real one.......Well the naming thing has been put off.....will do so shortly.....

Just wondering......2

.......faced with that dilemma I chose to walk away....with the happy memories of some wonderful time spent together......of dreaming about the future.....of planning about nothing in particular.....of sharing stories about life.....I may be doing wrong....maybe it is wrong for me to refuse to bridge the gap......but to me the chasm is just too huge......and instead of getting hurt time and again.....i choose to move on......thank you for all that you have been dear friend......for all the time....for all the laughter and joy......for being you.....for letting me be me.....for keeping an eye out so that I don't fall....for holding me when I stumble.....for providing me with a platform to reach the stars.......some day some where we shall meet again.....and hopefully with the past behind us, we shall be able to make up....and then talk bout the old times and the old days......

Just wondering......

What do you do when you have to hide your true feelings because a dear friend hurt you? And that dear friend happens to be the confidant with whom you shared everything? And there was a fissure which over time has become a chasm.....when both are trying to reach out.....but both have egos the size of mountains which will not let you acknowledge that there have been mistakes made on both sides.....that some where deep down you both still care.....but there are other people who are more important you get back for old times sake? or do you walk away with the happy memories and leave the bitter ones behind?.....wondering.....

Hamlet Act 1 Scene 3


Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There; my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

Some advice doesn't age. Like Poloniu's advice to his son Laertes. Even after 7 long years, I remembered most of the speech. The rest is googled. Modern tool to remind you of ancient wisdom which is still valuable in modern times.


This is the lyrics to the song Kandisa, by Indian Ocean. A song that was an old aramic prayer song. This has been fused into a life infusing, beautiful chant that rejuvenates you and is my greatest therapy when I find that life is just hitting me a bit too hard..... And for good effects am including the photograph of the band too....

Kandisa Alahaye, Kandisa Esana
Kandisa Alahaye, Kandisa Esana
Aalam Balam Aalam, Aamenu Aamen
Sliha Mar Yose, Almaduba Kudisa
Aangen Dhanusa, Nehave Dukharana

Aalam Balam Aalam, Aamenu Aamen
Sliha Mar Yose, Almaduba Kudisa
Aangen Dhanusa, Nehave Dukharana
Kandisa Alaha, Kandisa Esana, Kandisa La Ma Yosa Isaraha Malem

Aalam Balam Aalam, Aamenu Aamen
Sliha Mar Yose, Almaduba Kudisa
Aangen Dhanusa, Nehave Dukharana
Kandisa Alaha, Kandisa Esana, Kandisa La Ma Yosa Isaraha Malem


Aalam Balam Aalam, Aamenu Aamen
Sliha Mar Yose, Almaduba Kudisa
Aangen Dhanusa, Nehave Dukharana
Kandisa Alaha, Kandisa Esana, Kandisa La Ma Yosa Isaraha Malem

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Beer Bath and other things......

Among other things, got to celebrate my birthday in XL. Well, the party rocked. And the surprise element added to the wow factor. These guys here put in lots of effort to organize everything. Thanks IQ, PK, ComB, Ferrari, Shady, Sana, Flt. Lt., Shilpa and AM. You guys rock. And the birthday gift, a fabulous book.....Bertrand Russell's History of Western Philosophy....leaving you with the photographs....

Getting the bumps.......

Beer Bath.......

The Cake.....

The After Effects....

Friday, October 26, 2007

Writer's block

I seem to be suffering from writers block again. Just a week back, had written and edited stuff for the am unable to do so. That got me thinking, may be there is something about this writers block after all. So here i just describe the week that went by.

The week went in the usual Pujo festivities. Some pandal hopping at last. Was accused of ditching friends while I went pandal hopping, but none will understand that sometimes, some one may just not feel like coming out of the shell that one has created.

Among other things watched quite a few movies, surprisingly for me. A must watch for any one is The Empire of the Sun, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Christian Bale, John Malkovich, and Miranda Richardson. It is based on the novel of the same name by J.G. Ballard. Beautiful, moving tale about growing up when the world around you is crumbling.

Also watched a Korean movie, My Sassy Girl, a romantic comedy starring Korean actress Jun Ji-hyun. It is a movie about love, relationship and what it means to be special.

Other than watching these movies dint do anything much. Actually nothing much was there to be done also. Looking forward to next week, when with the SIP on, there will be more to write.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Subho Bijoya......

As the dhaaks fall silent and the pandal lights go dim. As the crisp new clothes are creased, as the mist in the air and fragrance of a thousand incense fade, as autumn turns into winter, as Maa is slowly lowered into the water for her to begin her journey back home, there is wish and a prayer on every lip, that may the coming year be blessed and may it have all the best tidings of the season, till we meet again. Aasche Bochor Aabar hobe, with that hope, and with the prayer for the best of the year to come, Bijoyar aantorik preeti o subheccha, Subho Bijoya.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

New look

Finally decided to give a new look to this blog. Was getting bored with the old. Hope this also signals a new enthu to blogging....This was how the old blog looked. Just keeping it here so that sometime later can come and take a sneak peak and remember the days of yore

The Divorce

It was a lonely moonlight night. Sandhya was sitting by the small pool behind the house. It was the last night. Tomorrow would be different. The bags had been packed. The kids had got admission in a reputed boarding school at Dehradun. They would be leaving tomorrow morning.

The heavily laden bakul tree, with its white flowers, kissed the pool and spread its heady fragrance around. Theres was a home made by love. And today it was that love that with its absence was making a home a house again. Sandhya reflected on the events of the last few years. It had been a classic love story. They had met in college, on the first day, when she had sat at her hostel gate, lonely, excited, sad, and most importantly missing her mom. He was walking by, and stopped to ask what happened. She joined him for a walk after that and the walks went on longer and longer, till by the time they left college they were inseparable. Sandhya and Mridul, Mridul and Sandhya; two bodies but one spirit. Mridul was a musician and a writer and a poet. Actually she thought, he was gifted in very special ways. More than she could fathom.

It was but expected and with blessings of both the families a fairy tale wedding was held. After the wedding, they moved to this city and started building their dreams from the bricks of reality. On the first day she had asked him to carry her over the doorstep. Sandhya smiled as she remembered that day. He, unsure of what to expect, carrying her gently in his arms as if afraid to drop the precious bundle, she arms gaily around his neck. As he gently carried her across the doorstep she had made a small notch on the door with her nails, and said, "This is to remind you who is the boss". They had collapsed laughing on the floor.

Their fairy tale life was soon assailed by the everyday reality of living. Individual quirks that were cute once, were now nerve jarring. Mistakes blew into disasters and talk consisted of a non stop shouting match. In the midst of this in the time when things were still fine two bonny babies made an appearance. They had been the heart and soul of the family. Now they were being packed off to boarding school......

Sandhya, felt tears rolling down her eyes. The frustration of it all. The uselessness, the stupidity of it all. It had been a fairy tale romance, it deserved a fairytale ending. But she knew it was not to be. A barrier had been created. One that was too difficult to surpass. They hardly spoke. If they did it was to argue. They hardly..... She had been long....really long....

A slight movement on the side of the pool roused her from her revere. It was Mridul. Standing there with his violin. His eyes asked her permission to sit beside her. Despite her head saying no, her heart said yes. It was like the old times. They were sitting together on a moonlight night, feeling the warmth of each other's bodies as the cold autumnal wind blew. Sandhya shivered slightly. And without any warning, Mridul wraped her in the shawl that he had. "Tomorrow we part, but that doesn't mean that today I don't take care of you". Typical of him. As they sat in the moonlight, Sandhya glanced up at the ruddy cheeks, the stiff lips, the hawked nose, and those brilliant eyes. He was handsome, had always been. And still was.

On the other side of town, their respective lawyers were furiously working at the divorce settlement. Eveything would be divided. But can a soul ever be divided?

They sat for what seemed like the whole night. No words were spoken. Tonight none were needed. When they rose from the dew laden grass, it was early morning. As they walked to the front door, Mridul held Sandhya's hand in his. And as they crossed the threshold, Sandhya was in his arms, and she made the notch a little more deep.

The lawyers were called and asked to forget about the proceedings, there would be no divorce. The school in Doon was informed that the kids were not going anywhere. And the became a home again, with laughter and joy ringing everywhere......

Friday, October 19, 2007

Grey Dawn Breaking....

After a night spent in writing assessment reports...and the prospect of another pujo far from home....another pujo without the protima dorshon and the is a grey dawn that breaks....also this marks my return to blogdom....i was around.....lurking around the shadows of blogland....reading blogs...commenting on all.....but i return....and hopefully will see more posts from me....

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sharod Subheccha

Durga Poojo.......the time of the year when the Bangalee's life revolves around new clothes, visiting Pandals, Protima Dorshon, the live Protima Dorshon for the greater percentage of younger folks, and feasting and celebrating. No matter who you are, where you are, what you do, Bangalee maane Durga Pujoer dhaak aar Pandel pandel ghora, aar masti, aar aada......baaro maase taaro prabon, kintu aokaal bodhoni? seta prabon noye...seta jibon....Sharod Subheccha

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Donkey and the Butterfly

The charming butterfly flirting from flower to flower

The poor donkey tilling the earth with the sweat of his brow

Pray, tell me dear one,

Who, is the one, who makes the flowers grow?

Said the butterfly to the donkey,

“Be like me! I flirt from flower to flower as happy as I can be.”

Said the donkey to the butterfly,

“Flirting is not for me. I tend to one little flower, give it beauty for all to see”

Mocking, the butterfly said,

“One, miserly flower, when it is the whole garden I see”

Laughing, the donkey replied,

You see the garden; I see the one which belongs to me”

“Come what may”, the donkey continued,

“And may the world hear”,

“You may flirt with all the flowers in the land”

“But none will ever your name bear.”

Friday, June 29, 2007

The Best Moments in Life

Got this as a chain mail. Somehow agree with it is is not my creation.....but it still is mine....

T h e B e s t M o me n t s I n Li f e

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.
3. Enjoying a ride down the country side.
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.
7. Passing your final exams with good grades.
8. Being a part of an interesting conversation.
9. Finding some money in some old pants.
10. Laughing at yourself.
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
12. Laughing without a reason.
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say somthing good about you.
14. Watching the sunset.
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.
17. Feeling this buzz in your body when seeing this "special" someone.
18. Having a great time with your friends.
19. Seeing the one you love happy.
20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume.
21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.
22. Hearing someone telling you "I LOVE YOU"

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Blogging once a way

It's been so long, when i last logged in to blog, my writing feels rusty, my fingers refuse to move on the keyboard, my vocabulary anything but exemplary. Life has been the usual since my last entry, as usual as life can get, with its highs and lows, though it has had more lows than highs. Which in turn was not such a bad thing as you tend to savour every minute of the high. The year started and already it is march....time flew past without even pausing to take a breath. It seems so long ago that it was a New Year. People have come and gone, again more gone than come. Will miss few of them, will think of some of them, will not bother about most of them. And the people who have come, welcome to my messed up life.

.....project work beckons....will continue some other time

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Year that was...

2006....a year to remember...what started out as a yet another year heralded a change in my life.
The year started with a New Year party to remember at our place at Thane. Popat, Kachhu, Cheeku and yours truly. A wild party....a way to bring in the year that would be.

First week end saw me traveling to the other end of Mumbai, for XAT. The CAT results were out just before and I saw no hope for me. XAT was decent, as usual, one kindda tends to become used to this after umpteen number of attempts...looked around for Arjun; he was not to be seen. Big deal...went back home. Next day come to know that Arjun was dead drunk, too drunk to come for XAT. The realisation of what he missed dint hit home until later, when the results came.

Back to work, good old Syntel. Night shifts galore. Praksh was coming back for sometime, it was hell. Portal was supposed to be our domain now. New team members, Mani, Harikesh, and Sukant holding fort. Thanks guys!! You people deserve a mention.

Jan end, XAT results, I have an XLRI shortlist. Good. Then an XIMB and a GIM. Life looks up. Tell my project manager, Manas, that I might leave. The best words ever from him, "If you are going for the interview, go with the confidence that you will leave Syntel, else dont go." Words, that inspire, and command. My first boss, and role model, Manas Padhye. Hope I get a boss like you again.

Feb went in a flash. Reading up, work pressure being handled by the team. A team, spread across geographies, but united nevertheless. No MBA institute can better epitomise team work and team spirit. The big days of March. The first interview, XLRI.

March afternoon in Mumbai, bit hot. Quite humid. Reach the interview location. No mistakes this time. Previous candidate comes out, and yours truly barges in. Interview panel, PR, AP, Fr.A. PR looks up, who are you? Wish the floor opens up and swallows me. My dream institute. Come on. What did I do? Anyways, collect my wits. Stare stupidly as they mark the previous candidate. Anyways, the interview is on.

Come out dazed, stopwatch in pocket says interview lasted 6 minutes. 6 minutes, that's too less. Call up my Guru, Tanmay. Tanmay, diplomat, says, 6 minutes means they liked you or they dint. Am like, dude, I know that. Tell me something I don't know. Went over word by word analysis. Then Guru says, think you should make it. Tere mooh mein ghee shakkar...thanks mate. Optimism pays.

Rest of the interviews go in a blur. Work is getting hectic. It is getting irritating travelling in the Mumbai heat. Nights are getting longer. Kanjur station is a welcome respite, for home is just 15 mins away now.

March end. The wait ends. Results are out. I am in XLRI. Hand in my resignation to Manas. Maybe am the first employee, who asks him the format of the resignation letter. And he gave it to me. Gave him ample notice. But now, not interested in work anymore. Some how come to office and do the least amount. Train the new comers. Fraxing starts already.

Time to shift house. The lease has expired. We find one, closer to the station. Nice place. Bachelors shifting house. All our worldly possessions fit in two autos. We shift in. Cheeku decides to leave us, he is quitting Mumbai. He moves on. Now it is only the two of us, Popat and me. Kachadiya decides to shift in.

XLRI fees has to be paid. SBI goes on a strike. Heart in hand. I wait. Thankfully things work out. No issues.

One month, passes in a whirl. May end. My bags are packed. I am ready to go. My last day at Syntel. Exit interview is done. The HR lady asks, what happened, dint like the project. No, mam, loved the project. Leaving to follow my dreams.

At last, the day to leave. Guys come to see me off. Dadar station, Chalukya express; headed home, to Bangalore. Bye bye Mumbai, with all your heat and humidity, your floods and traffic jams, you taught me to take life, each day as it comes, and to chill out when your work is done, as if there is no tomorrow. Will miss you. Will miss a lot of people too.

Bangalore....home sweet home...some work to be caught up on. Lots of people to meet. And, of course my sweetest Ruchi. Fifteen days later, it is June and I am headed to Jamshedpur.

Jamshedpur, the place that made a man out of mama's boy. The place that taught me a lot and also taught me engineering. The place, that let me make friends. Some for life. And the place which gave me a better half in life.

Dusty, sleepy industrial town. Nothing much changes here. Moved in to XLRI. The place is small, but am looking forward to meeting the people.

XLRI. Dream world. A place where people dream to get in, then work their backside out to get out. Met some nice people, some super nice people, some good people and met a crazy air force pilot with a heart of gold. Fl. Lt. Rajat Shahi. Person par excellence. A gentleman to the core. But, yes, he is mad. Induction programme came and went. Lot of academic work. Met a quiet little girl, and a bond developed. A brother with his lil sister. Komal made an appearance.

First term showed how rusty I was with books. Writing notes in class was a torture. I had not used a pen after college, except to sign cheques and fill MBA forms. It was relearning how to study.

Introduction to XL culture followed. Adventure and village trip. The other side of life. Playing badminton and getting wet in the rain. Living a life.

September end, term 1 ends, the end term exams are on. Shit!!! I don't know a thing. Last minute studies and mugging. One week and the pain is over. I am headed back home.

Week later am back. It is the second term. Time for SIP. Companies, PPTs to attend, forms to be filled. Everyone wants a SOP, short and long term goals. Short term goal...that's a is to survive here. Calls to Ruchi increase. I am not able to handle this. Shortlists are coming out. List after list. Name in not there. Death is a great leveller, campus placements are too. It doesn't matter what you know or what you don't. Nothing else matters. It is one company that wants you.

Day 1, no luck. Day 2 no luck till the end. Have to move on to slot 2. That is bad. Heavy at heart go back to sleep. Am woken up by Rajat. "You are through in IBM". He actually spent the night waiting for the results. Thanks man. I am out of the process.

SIP end, time to catch up with all the missed work. Classes are on. The term is ending. The end terms are coming. And suddenly, it is time to go back home. End of term 2. End of 2006.

Overall a roller coaster ride. A year that saw me move on to chase my dreams. Sometimes there were doubts. Sometimes there were fears. I metamorphosed from a software engineer, to a student. And now, waiting for the new batch. I am a senior student. A year that taught me more than my other years put together. A year that showed me that the world is tough, but tough people survive. A year that was all things good, some things not so nice, some tough, some soft, some filled with laughter, some joy....spiced with little tears, some heartaches, a tiny bit of sorrow. Years will come, hope each year is as wonderful as the last. My wish for the new year is that I wish to start on the following long pending work:

  1. Have some patience while taking decisions
  2. Some career planning
  3. Where do i want to go from here
  4. Get a new hobby
Here is wishing myself a very happy new year.